U.S. Soldier Says North Korea Was Amazing!

When you think of North Korea you'll likely have a few unsettling images in your mind. From the bizarre claims that the glorious leader had his uncle killed by an anti-aircraft cannon, to the silly insinuations that there isn't enough food to go around and the citizens can't leave, there's plenty of western propaganda to keep the world at bay when it comes to the beautiful true Korea! No thanks to these idiots...

A terrible slanderous movie.

However, now that the American Army Solider that attempted to escape the evil grasp of the tyrannical American military has returned to his home country (perhaps by force?), we have a lot more insight into the truth of North Korea. Scuzz Insiders made a call to King to see what it was like.

"I couldn't have been happier anywhere else! They all welcomed me with open arms. Kim Jung Un personally visited me and gave me a wonderful tour. He treated me like a guest - he treated me like a friend."

King mentioned how they first brought him to a massive buffet with foods from all around the world. Burgers, crepes, Fish, Rice! All in plentiful amounts. He recalls how tons of Korean citizens flocked to the buffet around noon, when they all got off of work and were ready to eat! As he waited in line, Kim began to shake the hands of his fellow citizens, who all pleaded that King move ahead in the line.

"Almost everyone wanted me to go ahead of them, it was so generous. I have never been treated so well in my whole life! Especially not in the Untied States..."

After getting a massive plate of food, King sat down with Kim and his friends. They ate together and shared stories, getting to know each other well. Just when King was feeling full, Kim stood up and had a surprise.

"I was a bit afraid at first. He rose without any indication, with the face like a stone. I thought he was upset at something, but before I knew it, he clapped his hands and shouted: "DESSERT!"

King says a massive line of waiters came out with all sorts of cakes and treats. He couldn't believe his eyes as all the North Korean citizens began clapping and chanting. A huge cake was placed before King as the whole restaurant shouted "Eat! Eat! Eat!". King took a bite and says it was fantastic.

After their hearty meal, Kim Jung un had plenty of more fun activities in store for King's visit.

"We walked outside into the big bustling city, full of smiles and busy feet. Kim turned to me after getting an ice-cream cone from the vendor on the side (It was free for all citizens). He asked me "Do you like video games? We can go to an arcade!" and boy howdy did I say yes to that!"

They went down to a massive arcade that had almost every game in existence. The ticket to enter was free. King says that tons of adults and children alike were playing so many different games from around the world. Quiet rooms for single player games, arcade halls, pin-ball, sports like basket-ball and axe throwing.

"I couldn't believe my eyes. It was all such a crazy experience. In America, we are told that North Koreans have nothing! Yet here they all were, having the time of their lives."

King says that Kim turned to him and asked him if he liked Silent Hill to which King responded yes. Kim took King into a secret room in the back of the massive hall where Kim had his own personal gaming room. He turned on a PlayStation 4 to reveal the Silent Hill PT demo.

King says that North Korea was absolutely stunning. The country side was something to really appreciate. Everywhere King and Kim went, all he could see was happiness.

"Kim brought in a bunch of beautiful women! They all wanted to make sweet love to me, and we did! It was amazing. By the time I had to go, I gained about 10lbs, played tons of games, and had lots of sex!"

King says that the American government demanded King to be returned to US custody, despite King's constant messages of rejection. Sadly, Kim had to forfeit and hand over King, as he did not want any hostile escalation.

"He gave me a big hug while we were at the DMZ. He was holding back tears, thanking me for visiting and hoping that we could see each other again one day. I do wish that we can. I hope that the world sees who Kim really is."

North Korea, 2023

What games would you play in the North Korean arcade hall?