Jonah Hill Reportedly Struggling with Dingleberries

Jonah Hill spoke candidly about his ongoing struggle with dingleberries. The dingleberry plight has been plaguing humanity since the historic era. For those of you well a bare buttocks, a dingleberry is a lil piece of a poopy that sticks to butthair after you poop. The term comes from a rare cranberry, a fact I learned during my many hours of dingleberry research for this article.

The resembalance is uncanny

Dingleberries can cause a lot of issues. Firstly, it might cause you to smell a little like dooky after you think you’re clean. Embarrassing! Secondly, it could be potentially dangerous. If you have hemorrhoids, for example, the poop-hair might infect the open wound, causing irritations such as itching or death. Lastly, it might make bathroom visits uncharacteristically long, which hurts the United States economy due to lower productivity levels.

Hill spoke the Scuzz reporters about his recent dingle-problem. He joked about how he was onset for his newest flick and tried to stealthily pass gas. Instead of a silent but deadly occurrence, there was a loud and potentially deadly explosion! His underwear became carpet bombed by pellets of stinky presents. These pellets, like spider-man, stuck to his posterior pellos.

Scuzz reporters managed to snag a photo of Hill when he realized he soiled his tidy-whitties

Scuzz reporters asked Hill if he would consider shaving his backside, to which Hill replied “I’m two-steps ahead of you After the episode, I went and got myself a Brazilian!” Scuzz reporters asked if he might consider showing off his rear, but Hill merely winked and said, “You’ll have to check out my newest feature!” Jonah Hill Stan’s are in luck, it seems! Reporters pounced asking if Jonah had any pictures of his dingleberries, but he supposedly shook his head and stated he was saving those pictures for his children to teach them about the dangers of an unwashed backside when they are older.

Who knew celebrities could be so relatable?