Mitch McConnell Diagnosed with Benjamin Button's Disease

Mitch McConnel has been under hospitalization lately for his latest public health scares, when Doctor's feared the worst they were met with the best. In a surprise turn of events, Senator McConnel has been diagnosed with Benjamin Button's Disease.

What is Benjamin Button's Disease?

Benjamin Button as an old man baby from movie

If you have seen the titular film you would know, but for anyone who lives under a rock or without social media or access to a theater or computer, it is a disease in witch you age backwards. Mr. Button in the film was born a wrinkly old man who grew younger instead of older and died a fresh young baby.

Studies show that typically this disease is diagnosed and instilled upon birth when a baby is born looking very elderly and more wrinkled than a typical fat wrinkly baby. Picture an old man shrunken down and wrapped in a blankey. Mitch McConnel has a rare case that he obtained this disease later in life so he will get double lifetimes getting old and then young again.

It seems Mister McConnel has ben blessed with this disease. Or is it a curse?

We were able to score a Q&A with his Doctor

Doctor Hasboro from RPO Biomedicine was able to speak with us.

Q: How is Mitch McConnel handling the news of this diagnosis?

A: Oh he is so excited.

Q: What hair color do you think he'll have when gets young enough?

A: I can only use the fact that he used to have dark brown/black hair to say it'll likely be that.

Q: I'd love to see him as a strawberry blonde.

A: -

Q: What would you say the current status is of is health?

A: I have doctor patient confidentiality, but I can say that Mitch is a healthy young boy. No further questions.

You will likely see Mitchy Mc looking more spry and agile in coming months, soon enough he'll be able to get through an entire speech without his batteries need to be recharged. I mean without him suffering a terrible mental abnormality, he is normally so young and hip and fresh.

Future posts on Mitch McConnell's Instagram

We reached out to Chuck Schumer for comment and he had this to say "I don't know anything about it, and stop asking me to say something funny. Nobody in my family is a comedian."

What we imagine Chuck Schumer to look like telling us to leave

Get ready America for a new age of The Mitch Man. Plenty of years of governing and important decision making for this guy. He's already picked out his tie and breakfast for tomorrow. He'll be having a spoonful of oatmeal and half an egg with a pitch of salt.

What will you be having for breakfast? Comment below.