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Things don’t work as good as they use too!
Couldn’t get these stinkin pictures to work! If you find yourself pressing a button more than the needed amount of times, you’re brain...
Shawn Cranston
Apr 15, 20242 min read


The Weekend To Tour In Gaza Strip
(4/13/24) This Sunday, Famous pop-singer The Weekend who’s real name I don’t know, has come out with a statement that is spinning heads....

thescuzzteam
Apr 14, 20242 min read


OPINION: why i think recess shoudl LONGER!
school would STINK without recess. nothing would ever be fun and i would skip more if without it

Kevin
Apr 12, 20241 min read


Jonah Hill Reportedly Struggling with Dingleberries
Poor Jonah can never catch a break!

thescuzzteam
Apr 11, 20242 min read


O.J. Simpson Said WHAT!? Death-Bed Final Words Revealed...
They say legends never die...But will these final words spoken by the man himself put a nail in the cases' coffin? Can we believe him?

thescuzzteam
Apr 11, 20242 min read


Alice Cooper Dead Age 79 Beheaded At Rock Show.
Sad News rom the rock world as rockstar Alice Cooper, Age 79 passed away at Rock Show.

Andy Gills
Apr 8, 20242 min read


Top 10 Pretzels!
By:Douglas Wilisberg Had to get this done on a tight deadline. You may see a few typos. Crunch, Munch, Gulp Pretzels are yummy! Here is a...

Douglas Willisberg
Apr 7, 20243 min read


SCUZZ NEWS STRIKE ENDS
Representation of Scuzz Writers On Strike It’s been nearly four months, since the Scuzz strike started. Scuzz offices have mostly been...

Jacob Miller
Apr 6, 20243 min read


Scuzz News Head Writer Andy Gills Hospitalized
In a surprise turn of events Andy Gills has been hospitalized for unrelated reasons to the last post that he made. He is under careful...
Scab
Nov 29, 20231 min read


Did anyone else hear that?
I just heard something outside.

Andy Gills
Nov 27, 20231 min read


Sonic the Hedgehog Superstars: nostalgia, novelty, and a metaphor for industrial society
The older I get, the more I see the nearly 30-year-old Sonic franchise as a metaphor for industrial society. Sonic can help you fight back.

thescuzzteam
Nov 24, 20235 min read


Mitch McConnell Diagnosed with Benjamin Button's Disease
Mitch McConnel has been under hospitalization lately for his latest public health scares, when Doctor's feared the worst they were met with
Scab
Nov 22, 20232 min read


Interstate Road Work Funding Increases $1.5 Trillion Despite No Evidence Of Progress
Heads are spinning down in the senate chamber as gritting teeth come to a bi-partisan agreement to avoid shutdown...at a hefty cost.

Andy Gills
Nov 22, 20235 min read


Top 5 politicans who vape
In an era of neo-Puritan morality legislation, it’s good to know there are still Trve blooded Americans who what to make fat clouds.

Andy Gills
Nov 20, 20234 min read


Scuzz Writers Go On Stirke!
Hollywood may be done being on strike but SCUZZ is just getting started It's been roughly two weeks since the SAG AFTRA strike has ended...

Andy Gills
Nov 20, 20232 min read


Disney To Buy SpongeBob For 40 Million
Spoiler Alert: They’re firing the original voice actor! Robert Iger is back in black as Disney’s CEO and he is looking to acquire some...

Andrew Fisher
Oct 23, 20232 min read


5 reasons alcoholics makes the best romantic partners
It might look like a red flag, but consider the following...

Andy Gills
Oct 17, 20232 min read


Opinion: War Is Bad - And It Needs To Stop
While everyone knows which side is in the right, at the end of the day war is something we should all oppose.

thescuzzteam
Oct 13, 20234 min read


FDA approves the Stupid-Pill
The FDA approved a pill which makes you stupider. Surprisingly, hundreds of thousands are lining up to try out this this miracle drug.

Andy Gills
Oct 12, 20232 min read


Scientists Prove Short People Are Smarter...And That's Not All
How's the weather up there? Probably not great, if you've read this recent news and are above 6 feet tall!

thescuzzteam
Oct 6, 20233 min read
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